I wonder does mood affect everyone's climbing in similar ways? Theres the classic "getting angry" to pull off a boulder problem or a hard move, but I'm thinking of more deep-seated, all-pervading feelings. Happiness, sadness, loneliness, depression etc. Its come to the front of my mind as several very sad and tragic things happened recently. A climber died on El Cap just over a week ago, a girl from Squamish died at a climbing area just before that (I didn't know her, but I did go to a party in her house a few months ago), and my grandfather died on Friday after a stroke left him confined, incommunicable, to a bed for the last 5 years.
As someone whos naturally more than a little morbid and melancholic, these things affect me even though I only knew one of the three. And never knew him well. Found myself slipping back into a pattern of staving off sadness by ramping up the workload. Numbing the mind by numbing the body. In a paradoxical way, I've always climbed a lot better when sad or miserable, and a lot worse when happy. Its something I have yet to understand. Not that I want to die, but I did consciously make peace with my perceived risk of dying before every wall route last year. There were two moments while climbing, and one moment in the fall that did my ankle in where I realised I meant it. Again, I don't want to die. But the fact is that the thing thats brought me closer to it (with the possible exception of cycling around dublin), has been the most rewarding I've ever done. Its also a fact that I've never been happy starting up a wall. Especially the solos. But I'm happy for a while after.
Is this a common thing? Or specific to certain types of climbing? Do sport climbers do better when they're depressed? Can boulderers pull harder when they're happy and contented? I know I can't. Maybe I should spend less time climbing alone? Or more? It worked for Beyer, Kohl and Twight, but they're hardly figures to aspire to. Fuck it, I don't know. Happiness is nice, misery is productive, and I'm going to do some pullups. Night.
Peace out
3 comments:
Sorry to hear about your Granda Paul
Thanks Dave
I'm sorry for your loss Paul.
For what it's worth, I think you need both to climb alone and with other people. You learn loads from others (climbing but also life in general). I do find that climbing alone is the best way to reflect (not think, just being contemplative) but I think that one really needs both.
In any case, make sure you talk to real people, face-to-face or behind a pint, instead of behind your screen ;-)
Best wishes,
Pierre
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